I just read a post of mine from a year ago, entitled "Discouraged." I was reminded of it when I read Penny's post from yesterday. It was when I was most discouraged about looking for a job and when I was being given one of the many b.s. excuses that those people seem to have up their sleeves.
When I was looking for a job - this job, the job that was looking for me as much as I was looking for it - I finally came across Jill at Adams. Actually, it was Lucy and then Jill. They were both really wonderful and looked at me - not just my CV.
I spoke with Jill yesterday about an unrelated matter. She asked how I was and how much I was enjoying my job. I told the truth. It's not my dream job, but the people are nice and it's great to have a job. There are, of course, people who are extra great. My manager is very good. She listens to me, even if she doesn't take action on my fabulous thoughts and ideas. And she lets me be independant. My pal, Venessa, is also great to have around. When I need to complain or gossip, she is available. It's nice to have an ally. She's one of those people who make me feel at home here, a good friend who has my back.
I'm afraid I was a little too...something with Penny the other day on her blog. But I really do feel like the world works that way. Sorry, Penny. Optimism and platitudes can be obnoxious sometimes. I should have respected that.
I like my job because, as I told a friend the other day, I can still taste unemployment. I remember it well and I prefer a job, even if it's not completely fulfilling.
Anyway, now I'm in the process of exploring other options. The "What's Next for Andy?" portion of the show has begun. Finding time in someone else's packed schedule is not my idea of any way to spend a day. The whole, "Hi. Can I get an hour with M sometime tomorrow afternoon?" is getting a little old.
At any rate, trust that irons are in the fire.
County Fair Entries and Results, 2022
7 months ago
"Optimism can be obnoxious sometimes"
I didn't understand how optimism could make you sick before. But after I had kept my hope up high and ended in complete failure, I start to hate the smell of optimism.
I'm sorry, Andy. I know that people, who try to drag me out from my pessimistic little corner, are doing me good and caring about me. But I have picked up this nasty habit of snapping at those who tell me to think positive or ensure me that things would be alright later.
Don't worry, there is still a little bit of positiveness somewhere in me. And I do appreciate your support and care. I may still believe that things would turnout alright, but my sarcasm just turns automatic once optimism is nearby. Blaming the world and others is way easier, ya know.
I only wanted to say THANK YOU in this comment post, whoops, bet I've yapped away again.
We let ourselves be as happy as we allow ourselves to be. That's it in a nutshell. 60 years of living brought me there.
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