Monday, March 10, 2008

Life Always Wins

The other night, having drinks with friends, I came back to the table and someone said, "Life always wins." She actually said, Leif, the name of her son, but I heard life. I thought she was speaking metaphysically, and I agreed.

Years ago, I was in one of those anonymous groups and I there was a lot of talk about getting into the flow of life. About doing the right thing and having a good plan, but that, if you just let the universe (read: life, God, etc.) take over, things turn out so much better. The idea is that the apartment you're looking at, the possible relationship, the perspective job all turn out so much better if you can just take your hands off of it and try to stop controlling every little thing and outcome. And I have experienced that in spades.

Of course you can also look at the struggle to stay healthy and try to out run the grim reaper and in the end, we're all caught. Life always wins. But I think that's okay - it sort of has to be. I do better with deadlines. If I thought I had unlimited time to do everything I wanted to do, I might spend more time on the couch. At this point, I've got X number of years left, so I'd better start doing something towards what I want to get done.

Today in Amsterdam, it is cold and wet and windy. I had to ride to the Center to meet with a student (Maria - not her real name) and then go to a meeting with her. I was carrying my briefcase and wearing dress shoes that had almost no traction - hard to keep upright sometimes with the wind. I just kept peddling as the rain kept coming. And I kept saying, "You're that much closer." It's raw out. I'm glad to be home.

I've ripped the Koolhaas out twice. The felted tweed that I have is just not the right yarn for it. All that work got lost in this beautifully textured yarn. Now I'm making another pattern, more standard, but still a little different from "just a hat." It'll show the yarn off much better. Tweed is so beautiful. Making the Koolhaas with this yarn would be gilding the lily.

So in this case, the yarn is winning. It always does. I'm letting it tell me what to make. One must listen to one's yarn.

That's a picture Fred took last week. It says "Spring is coming." Fred's in Germany today and tomorrow. He'll be back Wednesday. Fred's so great.


Menchuvian Candidate said...

Hi, Andy~

I don't have a specific comment to make on this entry, though I agree-life does always win:)-but I wanted to tell you that I have been reading your for the last week or so, and really enjoy your posts. I enjoy your voice so much, I've actually gone back and started reading from the beginning. Which, uh, kind of makes me feel like a voyeur-so here I am outing myself.

I've linked to you on my own blog; I hope that is okay.

Jimmy said...

Hi there! I was surfing around for gay blogs that I thought might appreciate seeing what I've been writing. I have been writing for the gay press here in Florida since the 80s. Here's a link to my blog, with the latest entry a column I did a few years ago: it's a little spin on Dutch and Amsterdam:
Let me know what you think; feel free to post a link, and I'll do the same!
I like your sections about knitting, too-- I have been delving into needlepoint myself. My grandmother taught me crochet and knitting when I was a kid... I became quite accomplished!
Let me hear from you if you get a minute. I enjoyed your site when I came across it this morning!
PS Andrew Beierle was going to do a book signing at the bookstore I manage here in Orlando, but had to beg off due to illness. I loved his last book!!