Monday, May 09, 2005

The Godfather

I was just informed by my friend, Patty, that I am the official/unofficial godfather to their new baby, Grace Mei Catherine Courtney. She's Chinese and Patty and Bill will pick her up on Sunday or Monday. Fortunately, I won't be in charge of anything financial. It will be the spiritual enrichment. Her closeted Nurse Practitioner, Judy, will be the godmother.

My eyes got a little teary when I read it. And Pat just did this sort of throw away, "I told you, right?"

When I spoke to her for an hour, as I sat in my little alcove desk at work, I said, "You didn't tell me about that. I kept wondering."

She said, "Oh sorry. I keep talking to Judy about it so it just seems like a fact to me."

Apparently Judy is outdoing me by like a million miles already. Granted, I've only known for an hour our two and I live on another continent. Meanwhile Judy, who has known for months and is local, has filled Grace's room with Chinese dolls, gotten her Chinese caregivers some kind of real "Cincinatti" gifts and has been doing other things like that.

This is a little immodest, but I sometimes look at myself and wonder why in the world nobody has tried to tap into my gene pool. I know of other gay guys who have been asked for sperm donations and I look at them and think, "Someone wants him to donate half the chromosomes for a baby?" Meanwhile I am tall, well educated, adventurous. What's not to love?

Then I look at my family. From what I hear my paternal grandfather was a bastard. And I look at my father, my brother and my male cousins and...I don't know...I think it's probably not a bad thing to stop the madness. I think I've been fortunate, but I'm glad that I was not/will never be called upon to raise a child of my own genetic makeup. It's safer to think about raising a child that is someone else's genes.

While it would rip my heart out to have to raise Grace (as it would mean that Patty was not around to do it - I get teary even typing that) I would do it, and I know that I would do a good job. Patty said Judy wouldn't miss a beat. She'd be ready to set up house and get down to the business of bring up Grace.

It's so nice to have someone make me a godfather, even though it's largely an honorary job that is usually name only. But I've always felt like I was discounted as an adult, like no one thought that I could do it, if called upon. But like she has for most of my life, Patty has faith in me, which is why she is where she is in my life. Smack dab in the center.

No comments: