Tuesday, August 02, 2005


Sometimes I wonder what's next on the agenda of my life. This morning I was in the shower thinking that after I got out and dried off, I would have to attend to the arduous task of picking out a shirt to iron - one of the same however-many shirts I have that I wear on a regular basis to work. After that, I would get on my bike and ride to the train station where I would get the train to the bus to work.

My life is a very normal life, I think. It just has a very nice background. I don't mind having a normal life. It's stabile. It's happy. It's a great place to build from. It's like living in New York City. It's not Bedford, Texas, so it's acceptable to me.

I was talking to Venessa from work the other day. We were talking about one of the directors from another department near our department. She's sort of tall and bitter. It's like she had other expectations for her life and now that she's got a regular job (albeit a fairly nice regular job) she's not the "presentatrice" that she probably pictured herself as becoming. The presentatrice is a strange occupation here, a combination of presenter and actrice. It's like this woman was passed over and now she's all pissed off about it.

I'm very much of the school of thought that tomorrow is another day and that anything could happen. I live in a world of all possiblities. (And in case you didn't notice, I just stole lines from Gone With the Wind, The Mickey Mouse Club and Candide.) I read years ago that I was born on the day of "Boyant Optimism." So I believe things will be just fine.

I'm a forty-year-old PA. This could send some people to the nut house, but I believe that things will work out as they are supposed to. In fact, I'm glad it's me and not some people I know. I don't think they could handle it. It's rough. It's like some people assume I don't have any ambition. I do have ambition. It's just not exactly career directed ambition. I want to have a fun life. I want to enjoy myself...a lot. I want to laugh and make sure that I don't get to the end of my life and think, "I should have..." That's like the big theme of my life. Make sure I have no regrets. I think I'm doing fine on that.

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